PROBLEM: Violent Outbursts – Pushing and Shoving
SOLUTION: Change the scenery to divert their attention. When Dad began pushing and shoving at his assisted living home, it wasn’t clear why he was agitated. The staff successfully used the tactic of removing Dad from the community living room (where there were other people and a loud TV), placing him in the safe confines of the Director’s office where they kept company with him by talking to him softly, making him comfortable, and giving him one of his favorite simple pleasures – chocolate! Dad was able to focus on the chocolate, which gave him a distraction and great pleasure simultaneously.
PROBLEM: Trying to find a way to connect
SOLUTION: Pay attention for the little clues. Dad was very despondent and confused when I arrived. We interacted and connected some, as I used the technique of speaking softly and happily in his ear. Ultimately, I wanted to draw him outdoors today, as the sun was out and I knew he would love to feel it. As I physically led him slowly outside by the hand – with his eyes closed and feet shuffling – my cell phone rang… a piano riff ringtone! Dad instantly emulated the noise, “Daaa Na-Na-Na Nuh!” and shuffled a bit faster. Realizing he was connecting with the music, I grabbed my phone as quickly as I could and started playing an oldies song. Viola! He started coming back to me from the fog he was in! I danced and stomped my feet so that he could hear me dancing with him (since his eyes were closed). I gave him words of encouragement and praised his dancing. And, very importantly, I filled in the lyrics for him when he drifted, which gave us an amazing opportunity to reconnect and “build” something together… a new memory for me… a happy moment in time for him. I love to meet him where he is and enjoy the moment on his terms!
PROBLEM: No interest in drinking fluids
SOLUTION: Find ways to get them excited about drinking – or go into stealth mode. Dad isn’t a big fan of drinking water – never was – and so it’s up to us to put a glass of water in his hands throughout each day and encourage him to sip. Of course, using the excuse, “Here, why don’t you wash that chocolate down with this” always works! :) However, I personally have found that sips spread out over time are easier to sell him than drinking a full glass in one sitting. I have had success with different strategies… sometimes while dancing, I’ll hand the glass to him… he’ll sip… Ill take the glass away… and then I’ll slip it back into his hands a few minutes later, saying something encouraging like, “Mmmmm, this is amazing Daddy-O. Try this…” Always a social guy, he typically likes to participate in whatever you are doing. :)
From the Fog to the Dance Floor – VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION
Joleen: Uh oh. Dad’s like in the principle’s office! Daddy, it’s JoJo. Hi, you been a good boy? They gave you a candy bar? Oh my gosh, I think that’s a Snickers! Yummy.
Frank: It’s my first candy bar in 3 years.
Jim: I hear your favorite’s Kit Kat.
Joleen: I gave you a Kit Kat last week.
(Voice off camera): Hi, how you doing?
Jim: Great, how are you? He’s had a little pushing and shoving today. Not, not bad, I mean it wasn’t terrible, but he’s aware of it. He said he knew that he was doing it, but that’s why I brought him in here, I’m trying to change his mood a little. Frank, here’s a water.
Frank: Yes, but where are you?
Jim: Come here, I’m sorry. I’m right here. Right here.
Frank: It’s okay.
Jim: Here’s the cup. Can you feel that? Whoops. You want to grab a hold of it with your fingers. You got it?
Frank: Yep!
Jim: Were you gonna go out for a walk?
Frank: If you’d like to join us, you certainly are –
Jim: Actually, I have to run down to the other building real quick, but I’m sure you can enjoy the walk with your daughter. It’s a beautiful day out there.
Frank: Either one is fine. Or with you, or with your daughter.
Joleen: How about with JoJo? You wanna go for a walk with JoJo?
Joleen & Frank: (sing) Sweet nothing… Oooooh sweet nothing… (music)
Frank: You got it, Jo. (sings) Cmon here darling, that’s enough for tonight.
(music) Sweet nothing…. Sweet nothing…
Joleen: That was a good job, Daddy.
Frank: Oh, thank you, girls.
(music) My baby gave me that special look…
Joleen: Whew! Whew! Nice twirl, Daddy-O! Ohhh, there you are!
Frank: Where’d you come, come from?
Joleen: (kiss) Where I’d come from? (kiss) I came from your heart! Whew – he’s alive and shaking!
(music) I’m sittin on my front porch…
Frank: Well, you ain’t nothing but a hound dog crying all the time, crying all the time, you ain’t nothing but a hound dog, washing all the time…
Joleen & Frank: Well, you ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine. Ba ba ba ba ba… Sing it boys! Ba da da da da BOMP BOMP!…
